how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
