You just made me feel so damn special
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
