so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight