I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize