yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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