does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
