i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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