I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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