Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
