WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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