so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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