That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize