call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
