is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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