It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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