That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
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