Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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