shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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