Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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