My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He shit in the fireplace
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
