I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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