Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
