we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
MIDGETS
????
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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