He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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