If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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