i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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