He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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