let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
