With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
