Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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