don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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