i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
