Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

No...more like a life jacket.

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(480): View more from Arizona

WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

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(309): View more from Illinois

In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.

(217): View more from Illinois

gotta love wednesdays

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.

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(419): View more from Ohio

i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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(975): View more from Missouri

All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.

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