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• (512): View more from Texas

  I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Did u at least say sorry?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

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• 

  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.

  (1-801): View more from Utah

  20.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Don't get into any trouble on your trip

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds

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