Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  what was she crying about?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

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  (734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle. (1-734): what was she crying about? (734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job. http://tfl.nu/fomm
  Replies (47) Good night (14611) Bad night (1838)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno

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  (281): Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno http://tfl.nu/zxk7
  Replies (13) Good night (3040) Bad night (686)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

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  (785): Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face. http://tfl.nu/ktzo
  Replies (26) Good night (3846) Bad night (902)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.

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  (516): Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style. http://tfl.nu/uxcc
  Replies (60) Good night (8335) Bad night (1727)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.

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  (703): I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU. http://tfl.nu/df85
  Replies (21) Good night (5071) Bad night (1231)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i mean you met him at the daytona 500

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  (678): found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife (404): i mean you met him at the daytona 500 http://tfl.nu/ydp4
  Replies (32) Good night (905) Bad night (4813)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.

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  (516): i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok. http://tfl.nu/l3f8
  Replies (10) Good night (4096) Bad night (1481)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five

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  (260): Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five http://tfl.nu/catf
  Replies (44) Good night (3041) Bad night (7921)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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  (610): it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again. http://tfl.nu/0grs
  Replies (30) Good night (6405) Bad night (1057)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.

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  (281): He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning. http://tfl.nu/ijln
  Replies (5) Good night (3403) Bad night (949)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally

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  (484): seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally http://tfl.nu/s3gk
  Replies (25) Good night (2546) Bad night (1285)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in

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  (414): got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in http://tfl.nu/o0j8
  Replies (5) Good night (1766) Bad night (651)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.

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  (513): College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester. http://tfl.nu/dsii
  Replies (7) Good night (3278) Bad night (616)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

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  (+61): I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that. http://tfl.nu/nlmq
  Replies (2) Good night (311) Bad night (863)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.

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  (775): I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me. http://tfl.nu/o8pj
  Replies (1) Good night (641) Bad night (320)

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