Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.

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  (775): If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band. http://tfl.nu/wzbw
  Replies (32) Good night (6023) Bad night (537)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Winning.

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  (412): fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life? (717): Winning. http://tfl.nu/sgsw
  Replies (74) Good night (7095) Bad night (922)
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  (925): View more from California

  I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs

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  (925): I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs http://tfl.nu/k9ok
  Replies (13) Good night (704) Bad night (4091)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...

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  (717): She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever... http://tfl.nu/cgdh
  Replies (10) Good night (5338) Bad night (597)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.

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  (402): I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now. http://tfl.nu/drco
  Replies (57) Good night (6554) Bad night (940)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie

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  (253): she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie http://tfl.nu/dtyw
  Replies (11) Good night (890) Bad night (3234)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?

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  (915): at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes? http://tfl.nu/vnu1
  Replies (3) Good night (2514) Bad night (1389)
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  (805): View more from California

  Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.

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  (805): Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren. http://tfl.nu/c1hy
  Replies (3) Good night (2247) Bad night (1102)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.

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  (216): Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket. http://tfl.nu/jk3k
  Replies (10) Good night (2758) Bad night (621)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well

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  (785): I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well http://tfl.nu/c3um
  Replies (19) Good night (1738) Bad night (624)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.

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  (610): You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns. http://tfl.nu/o535
  Replies (12) Good night (1085) Bad night (735)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?

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  (816): Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere? http://tfl.nu/bbd7
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (309)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much

  (702): View more from Nevada

  you puked ON HER

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  (775): she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much (702): you puked ON HER http://tfl.nu/qqj0
  Replies (7) Good night (385) Bad night (856)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism

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  (704): I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism http://tfl.nu/sjz0
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (227)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed

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  (402): woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed http://tfl.nu/vpuo
  Replies (0) Good night (291) Bad night (150)

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