He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize