just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
