I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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