also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
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god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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