i think my tv is drunk
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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