Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
