I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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