belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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