Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
