She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
