Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
