dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize