Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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