You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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