she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
did you just send me my own nude
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
jump out the window naked night went bad
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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