brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
