Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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