I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
