I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
