YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
