Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???