He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
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They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.