Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
