ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
