It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
