Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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