What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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