so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
