I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
