I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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