walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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