At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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